Towers and pedestals

It’s an image I created.
An illusion I built.
Spend enough time
And it diminishes like silt.

I built every tall tower
And placed you right on top.
And they kept getting higher
The limits just won’t stop.

And in the end it was all fake
A game I played with myself
Building blocks and monuments
To worship her majesty, herself.

The higher you got, the deeper I fell
Till the time I became invisible.
You couldn’t see me far below
Admiring you from beneath your pedestal.

Loving you

Loving you
is who I am.
It’s what I do.
It’s a part of me.
It defines me.
It’s a disease
I live with.
An unforgiving curse.
Relentless and infinite.
Spanning vast horizons
Of my mind.

Tossing and turning

In the dark of the night
Ticking past ungodly hours,
I missed her.
If thousands of miles away,
She missed me too.
No way of knowing.
And that’s what keeps me
Tossing and turning.

The light.

The light
It flows and ebbs
Blinding me
And then abandoning
In darkness.
It changes.
But nothing really changes.
It’s the same me.
It’s the same you.
I’m here
You’re not here.
The distance
Is insignificant.
But still
It exists.

Who would remember me?

Who would remember me?

Not on dark stormy nights,
But in sunny afternoons
With cloudless skies,
Gentle breeze,
Scented blossoms,
Babbling brooks,
Restless bees
And chattering birds?
Who would stop
And sit
And wonder
That guy,
now a vague memory
A distant past,
A forgotten friendship,
A lost timeline
A lifetime ago,
Wonder where he is?
I wonder what he’s doing?
I wonder if he’s okay.

Who would remember me?

I’m never drinking again

  • Woke up this morning
  • With an all-too-familiar feeling.
  • My head pounded by waves
  • And my will to live fleeting.
  • The bottle lay tapped out on the floor,

    Rolling now harmlessly.

    The vicious liquid that once was inside

    Now waged wars with me brutally.

    Didn’t know who to call,

    A doctor or an exorcist?

    I lost control of my own body

    Making sounds that shouldn’t exist.

    My eyes refused to open.

    My stomach continued to churn.

    My head refused to lift itself

    And my body continued to burn.

    Try this or try that.

    It’ll help you, they said.

    All well and good, I replied

    If I can only get out of bed!

    ”Twas in this moment,

    I knew my time had come,

    I realised I was old now,

    My binge drinking days were done.

    Yes, it’s done, it’s decided.

    Now if only I could do something about this pain,

    I know it’s something everyone says,

    But dammit, I’m never drinking again.

    Blissful ignorance.

    I pray that you not be intelligent. 
    Wouldn't wish that on my enemy.
    I pray that you not be awake
    May your slumber last all eternity.

    May you be unaware and uncaring
    and lead a blissful ignorant existence.
    For that is the only way
    Sorrow will keep its distance.

    May you have many lovers
    May you break their hearts too
    and walk away without a hint
    of guilt burdening you.

    May you be too stupid to care
    and too naive to understand
    too young to be too serious
    and too old to give a damn.

    You'll be a good son
    and you'll do as you're told.
    Get married to your parent's choice
    and have kids before your 30's unfold.

    You'll have the comforts of family.
    love pouring from all sides.
    you'll laugh and sing and be loud
    while your wife and children abide.

    you'll pray to every god.
    and keep fasts religiously too.
    even the gods will smile upon you
    and every day will have something new.

    I'll stand at the side
    and wonder what went wrong
    For all of this eluded me
    and i don't know where i belong.

    It never worked for some reason or other.
    I was too smart to find each flaw.
    It was always something with everyone
    and i cast them aside with my paw.

    Now i'm alone and i begin to wonder,
    who was the one who was really dumber?
    you, living in blissful ignorance?
    or me, finding flaws all summer?

    Ignorance breed happiness.
    I wish that for me and you.
    strip away my intelligence,
    for i want to be happy too.

    Magnetic fields 2018

    Magnetic fields is a music festival that takes place annually in Alsisar, Rajasthan, India. The festival has some of the best fresh talent showcased inside a 17th century palace. Three nights of live music, events and drinking. Lots of drinking. On one particular drunken evening, inspiration struck me and i penned down these words. 

    Midnight traffic
    On soulless streets. 
    Drunken haze
    Of kings and queens. 
    Setting sun
    On sand mounds
    Dusty clouds
    And smokey rain. 
    Strangers to silence,
    A nobody nowhere
    Bits and pieces 
    Blur into glitter. 
    Empty hands 
    No such thing. 
    Possessed with booze
    Or babes. 
    A common goal
    A destination unknown. 
    Tottering towards it
    Mighty fine
    Drunk on life 
    Drunk on love
    Drunk to forget
    Drunk to make it memorable
    Drunk to live some more 
    Drunk to survive
    We soldier on.